This week was a rough week to be a hospice social worker.
Several deaths. Several others still hanging on. Families hurting and scared. Families grieving. This week was a nightmare.
Or so I thought…..
As I sat in the front seat of my little red FIAT a few moments ago, I pondered the week and all the challenges it brought. And as I thought about all of the heartbreak, the tears, the pain I witnessed, and the cries, and the pleading…..something happened.
While I am agnostic, at times I still listen to music that is spiritual, simply because I love the beautiful melodies and harmonies that were written in an attempt to capture the beauty of an afterlife. I’ve always loved “Amazing Grace.” As a song it just seems to hurt and heal simultaneously. So I searched for that song and played it.
As the song began, all the ugly stuff I observed in hospice from this week sorta melted away, and I pictured my patients at peace. The ones that left this week, I saw them smiling and laughing with others in their afterlife. The ones that are hanging on, I pictured them looking into the afterlife as though they were watching a beautiful sun setting, simply waiting for dusk to become night. The families that were hurting, I remembered their humbleness, their appreciation, their broken relief at the final closing of a chapter.
And by the time the song ended, I had tears of joy running down my cheeks.
And it felt good.
I felt good.
There are many jobs out there, but this job is mine, and each week, no matter how rough it gets, I’m reminded that it all sorts out.
Good things ☺